I don't know.
These three words, while never quite satisfactory, are pretty handy in a pinch. But it seems that I've come to a place in my life where they won't exactly work. Specifically, what I want to do with it, my life that is. I love the idea of being an artist, but for lack of talent this evades me. Therefore I've settled on the next best thing: a writer.
Now if you are reading this you know my grammar is mediocre at best, but placing obvious setbacks aside, the idea still pervades. Unfortunately however, and while I try to stifle it, practicality has come calling. The job market sucks for journalists and I want to have a family (and all that crap). These annoying facts have pushed me farther than I ever thought I would go; I switched my major to nursing (the most practical AND deplorable career imaginable). Now I know that helping people is an amazing opportunity, but is it worth the loss? I look at the nurses in my life and I slowly see them being desensitized. It seems to me that the value of life, or at least the emotions that are attached to life, are slowly sucked away. Is the promise of a job worth losing emotion? Or maybe it's the concept of hardship that I'm afraid of losing. Life sucks, and while that is a reality, it is also an idea. As long as I keep that idea at least partially foreign, I can diagnose it, I can pick apart individual themes such as loneliness and jealousy and pain, and these themes are what fuel my desire to write. You can't inspire anyone without unearthing the hardships that individuals must push through. But if I make suffering my living, I'll bombard myself with it. If all that I will see is pain and loneliness, I'll overload my system and at the end of the day I'll avoid it. I'll push my fuel to the side and there's a chance I may never write. Is it worth the loss?
I don't know.
I think It's important to do something you enjoy. If you will enjoy Nursing, be my guest. I also believe that if God has given you a talent, and you use that talent to glorify Him, you will not have to worry about stability and whatnot, though you may not have as much money as you would have had had you pursued a career in Neurology, for example.
ReplyDeleteI'm going to be really blunt here...IT'S NOT WORTH IT!!! I agree with Mason, it is important to do something you enjoy. It's even more important to use your God-given talents and gifts for His work...and thankfully, we always find joy in (as opposed to en-joy) doing this. It is not wise to try to use talents God has not given us for our own agenda, even if for a good cause (eg having a family). And don't forget your testimony on HDL about trusting God to take care of your future and all your needs. Wesley, His plan for you is so perfect and beautiful, and He has promised to give you that future and hope. Seek His will as your own, and trust Him!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the advice guys! I fully agree with both of you, it is certainly a hard decision and I definitely feel called to a career in writing. I'm not giving up on that dream at all, it just seems practical to do something along the lines of a trade as well. Even Paul was a tentmaker! Any trade school would take 2 years which is the same time as a nursing degree. Currently my plan is to take nursing in conjunction with a degree in journalism, it's just a very hard decision as I don't want to forget about what I feel called to do.
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